Growing, growing, gone?

It took everything in my being for me not to call in fat for work today. One of those days… following a day in which a coworker had the most delectable pastries delivered to our office for our enjoyment. So I enjoyed… and enjoyed… and enjoyed. I can’t wait until they all finally disappear (of course I seem to the leader in that cause). The dessert demon keeps beckoning me.

I am in the process of researching for a business I hope to be getting off the ground in a few months time. I have never actually wanted to own my own business. Working for the man suits me just fine. But this idea came to me as if the heavens had parted. Every person I speak with gets excited over this “great idea” and with that my enthusiasm for this new endeavor continues to grow. But I am scared shitless to be completely honest. What if I can’t find reliable people to employ? What if I can’t do it? What if I fail?

I hate failing, losing or really anytime when I’m not the best. In addition I can occasionally have commitment issues. Committing to one project that has my name on it when all I desire is for its success – not financially, just because I believe in it – is almost paralyzing.

So here I go attempting, I guess, to grow and challenge my comfort zones yet again. Say a prayer…