Orange you glad I didn't say banana...
Occasionally after having a big night out (read: drank WAY too much) I will find myself cringing aloud for the following few days – generally in utter disbelief as to the choices made or the ass I made out of myself. I am in the midst of one those cringing times…
I don’t live a life of regrets; however I sometimes question what ever motivated me in the first place. Arg. That’s all I shall say about that.
Sunday morning I crawled into LJ's bed and awoke her at around 6:30am – far before she ever intended to wake up. I convinced her in the following hour that we should get up and go grab coffee from our favorite coffee guy ever, our hometown ‘coffee nazi’ (You get coffee one way – his way).
While we sat outside of his shop sipping our morning jo we were approached by some guy obviously doing the Sunday Morning Walk-of-Shame. Orange had thrown up all over him. He had on orange pants, an orange belt, orange shoes and a multi-colored stripped shirt... including, of course, the color orange. He walked up to us and immediately commented on how much he loved LJ’s watch. Surprise… it was orange. He asked LJ if she would give it to him. (What?!? Who are you?!?!) When turned down he went inside got his coffee, and returned to our table (much to our dismay).
Orange-Man continued to go about the watch, all the while spittaling all over us, as he had on adult braces. Not only did he have them on, but he stretched his lips wide enough for a full on view of his gangles – showing us the orange rubber bands he had around them. He proceeded to tell us about how he got his shirt in New York because his waiter had it on, and Orange liked it better that the one he was wearing. Apparently (he explained to LJ and me) Orange stripped naked to the waste, giving the waiter no alternative but to switch. I can think of a great alternative, it called get your ass out of my restaurant before I call the police…
Needless to say LJ and I decided it was time to leave and go grab some breakfast, getting as far away from Orange as possible. As we got into the car he followed us to us asking if we wanted company for breakfast. We immediately declined and he continued to offer to buy us Bloody Marys, even if we didn’t have him come with us. We obviously declined jumping in the car, shielding ourselves from any further salivatory assault. I simply cannot imagine how anyone could possibly consider eating with that around.
To think this is only the beginning of summer fun. The joy.
I don’t live a life of regrets; however I sometimes question what ever motivated me in the first place. Arg. That’s all I shall say about that.
Sunday morning I crawled into LJ's bed and awoke her at around 6:30am – far before she ever intended to wake up. I convinced her in the following hour that we should get up and go grab coffee from our favorite coffee guy ever, our hometown ‘coffee nazi’ (You get coffee one way – his way).
While we sat outside of his shop sipping our morning jo we were approached by some guy obviously doing the Sunday Morning Walk-of-Shame. Orange had thrown up all over him. He had on orange pants, an orange belt, orange shoes and a multi-colored stripped shirt... including, of course, the color orange. He walked up to us and immediately commented on how much he loved LJ’s watch. Surprise… it was orange. He asked LJ if she would give it to him. (What?!? Who are you?!?!) When turned down he went inside got his coffee, and returned to our table (much to our dismay).
Orange-Man continued to go about the watch, all the while spittaling all over us, as he had on adult braces. Not only did he have them on, but he stretched his lips wide enough for a full on view of his gangles – showing us the orange rubber bands he had around them. He proceeded to tell us about how he got his shirt in New York because his waiter had it on, and Orange liked it better that the one he was wearing. Apparently (he explained to LJ and me) Orange stripped naked to the waste, giving the waiter no alternative but to switch. I can think of a great alternative, it called get your ass out of my restaurant before I call the police…
Needless to say LJ and I decided it was time to leave and go grab some breakfast, getting as far away from Orange as possible. As we got into the car he followed us to us asking if we wanted company for breakfast. We immediately declined and he continued to offer to buy us Bloody Marys, even if we didn’t have him come with us. We obviously declined jumping in the car, shielding ourselves from any further salivatory assault. I simply cannot imagine how anyone could possibly consider eating with that around.
To think this is only the beginning of summer fun. The joy.
posted by hannahhas @ Monday, May 16, 2005
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