“Why did I wake up with a sombrero on my head?”

The above said by tiki yesterday morning as we rolled out of bed… and began the debauchery all over again…

My god… where to begin.

The Man and I went out Friday night. He introduced me to his friends. They were great, a great time was had… the wife told me I looked like a model. How could I not love them? I mean… really.

Saturday I had a Pineapple Fiesta on the terrace. Margarita’s… beer… sun… Awesome. Actually had a little too much margarita’s, beer, and sun... Deciding to go grab a bite to eat (I had to be told this later) we headed into town, at which point everyone realized how drunk I was, I couldn’t even order my food. After tiki took care of getting my order placed, I informed them I had to return home immediately. Tiki returned me home. As fabulous as my friends are, they returned home post dinner, with my food all wrapped up, ready for my consumption. Gigi tried to put a French fry in my mouth. I apparently pushed it away and said, “Its okay… I love you long time” and returned to dreamland (I was told that I was cuddling with my panties as well. What?)…

They went out, returned about 2am, woke me up, and I was good to go (I had already slept about 4 hours). We sat on my bed talking about my dog and Gigi exclaimed “Oh my god we forgot about R!” I said, “You brought a dog home?!?” Then I heard some guy speak. “You brought a guy home?”

I was introduced to R and we began drinking more beer. Tiki and Gigi both passed out and R and I went to party with my downstairs neighbors. R left to go to a friend’s house-party and I headed back upstairs where LJ had returned home with one of her girlfriends, Dre. LJ was wearing a T-shirt she had taken off the back of a guy they had met in a bar and Dre was wearing his hat. They had gone back to his house and LJ also came home with some new art that she had taken from his house, off his wall… poor dumb guy is half naked and artless now.

Our neighbor, P, came up with his friends and the party began again. P’s friend M dressed up in one of LJ’s dresses, complete with shoes and oversized hat. R came back from the house-party (said he had walked in to two people passed out on the couch and a chick puking in the kitchen sink… def. a sign to leave) and I yet again turned into a make-out bandit... don't tell The Man.

As the sun arose it turned into a hat party on the terrace. We all put on hats (including placing them a top the head of the passed out Gigi and Tiki). It was a wonderful sight for the police to walk up (twice) to as we danced our booties off at 7am.

Going to bed shortly thereafter, we woke up at 10:30 ready to go again.

Bloody Mary’s poured freely. Tiki, Gigi and I put on our bikini bottoms and got into my dress-up bag. (When I used to have my friends younger daughter over a lot, I began collecting a fairly impressive collection of tiaras, boas, angel wings, jewelry, etc.)

We posed topless on the terrace for LJ as she took photos of the sparkley-feathery-drunk-girls we had yet again become. As R was still there, I’m sure the random thought of, “How the hell did I end up with this” crossed through his mind and dialed friends, not believing his luck.

The neighbors across the way came out to there terrace, enjoying the ridiculousness that was our day.

LJ popped champagne, poured it into our mouths and down the front of us. We were soft-core porn at its finest.

As all of this was merely a precursor to our Beach Party (Gigi commented that she had never known anyone who has as much themed parties as LJ and me) So we found tops and continued to frolic on the beach.

It was gorgeous.

I hated hated hated this morning.

But I think I’m finally sober.