“He licked my pussy.”

Shell said, pointing across the street as we walked towards the bar Saturday night.

“What?!?!?”

“That guy right there, B, he licked my pussy… and he thinks I’m crazy.”

I looked across the dark street at the guy diverting his eyes from our direction and then back at Shell.

She laughed, “He thinks I am insane. I was wasted, and it was one of the most bizarre hook-ups ever.”

Tiki laughed, “It’s true, He completely thinks she’s nuts.”

Not allowing these random comments to pass me by, we decided to go to a further bar so Shell could tell me the story.

Please understand, that Shell is gorgeous, educated, talented, and a supremely kind human being that would drop everything for any of her friends at any given moment. She’s always fun to be around and a great shoulder of support when needed.

That being said…

She went out one evening with full intentions of hooking up with this guy that she had been seeing. She packed her overnight bag, put it in her car and headed out to the bar. In the process of the evening she got completely wasted. It wasn’t happening with her boy and she met B. They went to another bar, where her tiny frame continued to pound shots and flow into oblivion. When time to go home arrived, Shell told B she was going to come to his house. He (of course) agreed, and an argument ensued about how she was going to walk all the way there, she didn’t want to take a cab. She took off walking, he stop her, turned her in the opposite direction and said, “I live that way”. Shell continued to stumble back to his house, and then remembered her bag, which she made him get out of her car.

I can only imagine how much of a slut he must have thought of her at this point. What random girl from a bar has a pre-packed overnight bag ready to go when she comes home with you? He had no idea about her other guy, just thought he met some hot, fun (drunk) chick in a bar.

So they went back to his house, he proceeded to go down on her, and in the middle of it she ‘woke-up’ out of her drunken oblivion, sat up, and said, “What are you doing?!?!” He looked up from in between her legs and said, “Um, eating you out.”

Shell leaned back, said, “Oh” and tried to piece back together the evolution of events that had brought her to the point in the evening, while her leg rested on the wall and he continued to “perform”, she fell back into her drunken oblivion.

Shell demanded pajamas from him (forgetting she had her overnight bag there) and fell asleep. The next morning she awoke in one of the, “OMG, where am I???” phases (that I’ve heard some people experience) changed into her pajamas and crawled back in bed.

They both awoke, went to breakfast, then she came back to his house, crawled into bed, and continued to sleep, while he hinted around about the plans to go to the beach he had to leave for… all the while she slept, not budging.

She finally went home. Some time later they went out on a date and while she and B were out she ditched him to hang with a friend she hadn’t seen in a while.

Obviously not a match made in heaven.

After seeing him on Saturday night with me, Tiki and Shell went out on the town Sunday night, had a huge evening, ended up meeting some football players.

Skipping down the street holding the hand of a very large black man, balloon tied around her wrist, Shell saw B. She just yelled “Hi B!”… because at this point what else can you do???

I have had similar (although not to this extreme) experience with guys before. They catch some odd facet of your personality more then once, then that’s how you end up coming across.

I told TM a bit ago that I Googled his name. Now this might appear stalkerish to do a couple of days after meeting someone, but when one spends as much time coming up with things to do that might consume more of her day, as I do, this is perfectly normal. Plus The Man told me to Google his name, and I went on a Google rampage trying to track down any useful information (read: black mail) on anyone I could think of.

Even this last weekend I left some drawn out "You're uninvited to our party" message on R's machine minutes after LJ had left a message inviting him to our Poker Party... all due to the fact that I couldn't have some boy that I kissed around The Man... like he was going to some how be uncontrollable? Yes, I was a bit nuts, and I'm sure he felt that way as he waded through his messages.

So we all do this… I mean, perhaps I even caught some odd facet of Mini-me’s personality and he wasn’t really that bad…

Oh wait… yes he was…