“I could never buy this sort of thing with anyone else, OC Girl…”

Wednesday is Wine Night at the restaurant down from my house… then the Boom Boom Room begins its fabulous drag show at 10. A Wednesday night from heaven… that is until L called me and said, “Instead of Wednesday Wine night, do you want to go up to LA and go to the Pleasure Chest, the best sex shop ever?”

Obviously, “YES!” was my answer.

We went to dinner and then headed up to LA.

I don’t go to LA often. I can count on about one hand the number of times that I have actually been to LA proper (to hang out) in the last couple of years that I’ve lived here. People assume that because I live in Southern California I live in LA. Even after the invent of “The O.C.”, people still seem to have a difficult time discerning between the two places. When we go up, we look like tourists all too often.

As we departed off the 405 and headed West, per the directions of the uninformed Sex Shop attendant, we seemed to be getting further and further away from the destination address. L and I decided to turn around… just in time. We were in such a sketch area. It was the wrong time to find out that Onstar had never been configured in her car. Good times.

As we pulled down a side street to turn around a homeless man sat on the corner, watching a TV in his shopping cart. How the fuck did even plug it in? I’m still baffled. L and I held eye contact with people for too long, and we were both sure that a bullet would soon be penetrating the walls of her car. We did manage to turn around safely, nothing more than our imaginations ran amuck.

We headed down the correct direction and into the Rainbow Wonderland that is West Hollywood. It looked so fun. L yelled, “Oh my god, look in that bar!” All I initially saw were these large screens with American flags on them, and I was baffled why she has such a TV fetish… that is until I finally saw the scantily clad men standing in front of the screens doing pelvic thrusts to the beating of the music pounding forth from gigantic speakers.

Welcome to Hollywood.

We leaned over the dash of the car scouring the buildings for the correct address. Nearly there, I exclaimed, “There’s the Kodak Theater!” We drove slowly by examining the shrine where all of Hollywood Royalty dream to be accepting reward for achievements in their career… both of us hoping to catch a glimpse of someone, anyone that we could call our friends and brag about seeing… then realizing my error, “Oh never mind. It’s a Ramada Inn.” We almost peed ourselves laughing.

Getting to the Sex Shop we shopped and made our purchases. I finally got the liquid latex that I have wanted for far too long, yet I don’t imagine using it as anything to ‘get in the mood’. I instead see it as something that will be broken out after a night of drinking with my girlfriends… Now that’s what I call fun.

L and I headed back to OC… taking the far better route through Beverly Hills and Bel Air… Going down Sunset the sidewalks crawled with people. Restaurants overflowed onto the side walk with people enjoying their late night meals and company of their friends. Very Euro. We got back to OC and tumbleweeds blew threw the boring, empty streets…

Ahhhh LA.