Onion

There’s a guy that works in my office, aka Onion. He used to be called Stain, as on his first day working in the office he had an odd stain on the back of his thinning shirt. But because my office is also known as the fruit bowl, we changed his name to Onion (yes... I know... not a fruit) due to the fact that he can occasionally smell, and hanging around him too long makes you want to cry.

He’s quite over weight, and thus perpetually hot. He’s stated previously that he wears a permanent parka. I, generally, am not one of those girls that is constantly cold… until I get to my office. Here in Southern California, I have to have two sweaters at my desk, and I will often put both of them on. This is getting ridiculous. I develop no feeling in my fingers and they will begin to ache as I try to type. (What else do I have if I can’t email and blog by typing all day long???)

In addition, he has the seemingly obligatory conversation each and every morning about his daily gym ‘workout’. Now, I’m sorry, but if you’re an easy 100+ lbs overweight, I would think that in 6 months of continual training, generally 6 days a week, 1-2 hours each day (so he says), would allow you to lose more than the 14 lbs. he brags about.

Not only would you lose it, but perhaps your body temperature would return to the human level, and I wouldn't have to be typing this... sitting in my cube, hood pulled over my head, sleeves pulled down to cover as much of my fingers as possible, and collar pulled up over the lower portion of my face.

Dear Lord, I look like I’m going to rob the place…