Men Suck… I swallow…

(ha ha… just thought that was funny…
I would never do anything like that!)

I’ve mentioned Da Bod previously. He is not only my BFF (Best Friend Forever – along with 20 others), but my LLF (Life Long Friend – only about 10 more of those).

Da Bod and I go way back. Okay… ‘way back’ means about four years. But none-the-less he loves me and I love him. Unconditionally. That’s an amazing thing to have.

Having said that… he bugs the fuck out of me sometimes.

I thought (at one time) that I would marry him. Thank God that was a fleeting thought. Please don’t get me wrong, Da Bod is great. However he can be… well… such a guy.

Da Bod moved down here from Portland about a year ago. Initially when he arrived he lived with family during the week and pretty much me on the weekend. Time happened and he got a job that included working on the weekends. A few months went by without me seeing him and rarely talking with him.

Now I knew in these few months time that he got a girlfriend. Generally when he goes MIA from me for awhile, this is the case. In addition, I knew he hated staying with family and would find some chick to shack with in hopes of maintaining a bit more freedom.

When I first spoke with him after his hiatus from me I asked him who she was. He laughed and asked me how I knew. “I know you, Da Bod, and I know you have a girl.”

He said, “You’re right her name is K, and she lives 4 minutes from work, and 6 minutes from downtown.”

Now I’m sorry, but if your first description of the new lady in your life is how convenient she is located from various places you frequent, my thought isn’t, “Wow, she must be the one!”

Since then I have been a sounding board for his various bitches about her... although he has now fully moved into her apartment, officially ‘living with’ her. Through these bitches (which, believe me, she’s right on about a lot of them... I don’t have his side too often) he has expressed to me about how she has said that she loves him, and is sad he won’t say it back.

I have told him this isn’t fair to her, and he can’t continue to stay with a woman falling completely in love with him, while he thinks that is great he can get to work so quickly.

I spoke with him this last weekend. He once again started bitching about her. He said that she had called him that morning and said that she didn’t think that this was working out. She was developing a lot of feeling for him, and she didn’t feel as though the feelings were being returned. Her fear is that he is going to find a girl that he has these feelings for, and will just up and move out of K’s house leaving her behind for his new found interest.

I told Da Bod that she was right, that he would completely do that.

His response, “Well of course I would, OCG. But I can’t let K know that, she’ll kick me out right now.”

I asked him what he was going to do about it.

“Nothing, OCG. I don’t want my stuff out on the lawn when I get home. I told her she was just being a paranoid girl and needed to not worry so much.”

I told him he was a total dick, and if I were her I would kick his ass.

And again I say, “Men Suck!”