Pathetic OC Girl

The Man’s best friend called me last night. She was baffled as to what was going on telling me that she and her husband are convinced that he just got too scared because we were too perfect and didn’t know how to handle it.

This does nothing for me.

Regardless of how many soccer boys want to go out, TM inviting me over, or Mr. Wonderful (he wears a T-shirt stating as such, it's not the name I gave him) wanting me to hang out with him, nothing will take the constant stream of thoughts that are of The Man out of the back of my mind.

As he can’t seem to break off a fucking phone call to me, I emailed him today:

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The Man-

There is a couple of things I wanted to share with you, and I guess this is the best format do to so.

I could not have agreed with your email more last week. We both allowed ourselves to be strapped into this rollercoaster we created and just went with it. It was nothing that I have ever done before, and I shall refrain from ever again doing it.

The biggest problem is that we both knew that it was going too fast but it seemed as though we were content with it, although our minds and the dialogue with our friends might have told us differently.

This is the thing that’s bothering me. The night that we laid in bed you had mentioned that when things start getting stressful for you, you have a tendency to go solo. I completely understood that, and where you were coming from. As I talked in circles, not making any sense to you… what I was trying to say was, “then why are you acting like we are committed to each other?”

You: The Man, an amazing guy who delights and challenges me. This you know.

Me: Nice, intelligent girl that likes to have fun with her friends.

Us: I am fine with a much more mellow version of the first, I like you and I have fun with you. I can do that.

I just feel that you have hit your one-month-limit-brick-wall and you feel as though you can go no further. You can do it, pedal softly.

The morning you drove me to work (on one of the crappiest mornings I have had in… almost ever) I (very sarcastically) looked at you and said, “Happy one month”. You should have seen your face. I petrified you in a feeble attempt at making a joke. I knew at that moment everything had changed.

Don’t let it. I’m still the fabulous girl that I am, and you are still the fun guy that thinks I’m funny (at least sometimes).

The Man, you are not 24-years-old any more (to steal the line you said to me) and you can handle this. I do hope to hear from you.

OCG
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The fact that I am dwelling on one guy like this pisses me off. I am not like this. I like to get some lovin’ then I leave them. I never get attached.

Then I hear the most pathetic songs, and I completely relate.

I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth.

Sorry kids… I’ll try and make tomorrow’s blog a bit more uplifting.

(she's fun today, isn't she...)