Weekend Part 1- Drunk OCG... yeah you know me…

Trying to break off a little blog in the midst of the work I have allowed to pile up on my desk… amazing when the principals away how the OCG will play…. And by play I mean get too involved in inappropriate pastimes at work. But I gotta love me some porn emailing.

This weekend seemed fairly mellow all the way around. Dinner on Friday with LaLo and SB… and by dinner I mean the consumption of several Black Mambas (Martini consisted of Kettle One, Black Sambuca and a shot of espresso… utterly divine) and picking at the salad before me. I mean, if you can instead drink your calorie quota for the day, why not?

A drunken conversation with SB was had about what my most attractive feature is. He answered, with no hesitation, “Your ass, and then you face.”

Still debating how I feel about that response.

I awoke Saturday morning bright and early at around 7am. The verdict still out on whether the reason I awake so early whenever I’m hung is because God feels as though I should live through every moment of the self-inflicted pain… or if it’s the sugar from the mass quantities of alcohol previously consumed pumping through my veins.

I went and grabbed coffee for LJ and myself from my favorite Angry French Man and tried to wake LaLo and SB to no avail. By around 8:30, I was bummed I wasn’t at brunch. With the rationalization that if I was at brunch I would be drinking a bellini, I headed to the store and grabbed a box o’ Corona’s and headed back to my house. Beer, Champagne… almost the same thing, no?

SB and LaLo finally arose around 9:30. Apparently, I was told the previous evening by SB that I wasn’t allowed to wake them until 10am. As I live by the philosophy, “If I don’t remember it, it didn’t happen”, I explained he should not get mad about me knocking on the door repeatedly or screaming “LAAAAAAAAAAAAA LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” down from my balcony in a feeble attempt to have someone to accompany me to brunch, after all I only did it because I love them so. *aww*

I’m a fun neighbor, no?

We headed to brunch. After there were two mistakes during our meal, the waitress brought us yet another round of bellini’s… on the house. Speak to my heart, why don’t you…

We returned home, where LaLo was having new window coverings installed by some Cute Guy and Dikey-Dike, his boss. After I chatted with them for a while and finding out we were there last job for the day (let us not forget the mood I entered the weekend with), I invited Cute Guy to have a drink on the terrace. Dikey-Dike said that would not be allowed. I told her she could come to… (I mean, if it didn’t work out with him… maybe she… nah…). They left and we headed up, cocktail in hand… feeling quite happy in the middle of Saturday.

I have a ‘problem’ after too many cocktails are consumed. As LaLo said last night, “OCG, everyone has seen your ass. Put a skirt on and follow it with a cocktail, you will lift it up and show everyone.” I think this is a terribly exaggerated statement… however after looking at my pic texts sent on Saturday, to a dozen of my friends… and my mother… taken of my bare breast with the ocean in the background… I really should Google my name more often. Lord knows what’s out there.

A mellow night was had on Saturday. I had no motivation to get ready and round up the troops… so I danced around my living room while listening to too loud music, drank more wine, and talked on the phone to JP (coming on Thursday! SOOOO stoked!) for about two hours… and ignored phone calls from TM… heaven forbid, someone (read: TM) think I don’t have anything socially fab planned for my evening…

Side note: JP and I talked about how great it was when we used to hang out all the time because if you do nothing with someone else it still counts as doing something. (Does that make sense?)

Of course still being in the mood I proceeding to get off the phone with JP and have one of my Special Phone Conversations…

Now, I know Jeff Foxworthy has made millions on his “You know you’re a Redneck if…” I think I should have a follow up to that of, “You know you’re a drunk OCG when…”

So, You know you’re a drunk OCG when you realize that your phone adapter in the house is broken, and so the only way you can charge your soon-to-die phone (when you really want to have this conversation) is by sitting in your car… your car parked right in front of your building, just below a light and neighbor P’s (who has become known to LaLo and I as the Lingering Hugger) bedroom window. Then you begin touching yourself… and it takes a couple minutes before you realize that You Are Outside, Under A Light, For Anyone To See.

I stopped immediately, but stayed on the phone. P came out and stood right next to my car a little later. Just standing there. When I finally open my car door and asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to see Mars. Under a tree? Next to my car? Move along sir, move along.

I retired to bed a little later... too tired to even complete the previous task *smirk* at hand.