Happiness is... ME!

LJ sat down with me last night and had “a talk” with me. She does this to me occasionally, but this is only the second time where it was a “sit down” conversation.

The first conversation she had with me was to warn me how nice I am to people. Now, stop laughing… I am fully aware that my sarcastic wit or brutal honesty can sting quite a bit. As LaLo says, I give prickly hugs, “OCG, you’re the only person I know that will say, ‘You delight my soul and I love you more than anything in the world… why are you wearing those shoes, and how soon can we get rid of them?’”

Yes, this is true… but I love complimenting people, affirming my good thoughts verbally to them, and making people feel special. If someone makes me smile I may tell them that they have made my life better by being in it. This is not a lie, my life is better. When you make me happy I’ll tell you than you brighten my life… because you have.

One Sunday Funday, as about 10 of us drank margaritas at the local Mexican Restaurant, a guy that we had been chatting with called his girlfriend over to introduce her. She smiled hello and I immediately piped up with, “Oh my God, your smile lights up the earth!” She had a great smile, what can I say? The words poured forth from my mouth without any pre-thought (actually every word that pours from my mouth has utterly no pre-thought…anyway…)

The entire table got quiet, and all the guys at the table turned to me jaw-dropped. One of them looked at me and said, “Most people would say you have a nice smile… You… wow... I’m writing that down.” I like making people feel awesome about themselves… what can I say?

So LJ told me that I need to be careful whom I share these things with and say them to because some people aren’t used to hearing compliments to the superlative, and they can and will, take them completely to heart.

Now please know, I want these words to be taken to heart, but the person I am saying it to is not the only one. I say these things to anyone and everyone, it's how I am. Last Sunday I sent a text to EB saying, “Baby, I think YOU are AMAZING!”

After sending it, I thought it sounded fab, so I sent it to Da Bod… then I proceeded to send it to virtually everyone in my cellular contact list. Through doing this I ended up talking with one girl I haven’t spoken to since I moved to So Cal… merely because of these simple words. I love that. Of course JP immediately called me after sending it and said, “Did you just send out one of your group texts?” My best friends know how I am…


So last night LJ sat me down again. “OCG, you’re going to be 30, and its time to start taking relationships seriously. You need to plan for your future… the rest of your life.” She then started talking about the need to find the right guy, plan for a family and I went into the Charlie Brown/Teacher mode of “Whawawa Whawa WaWah”.

I understand that many people rely upon a shared life experience with someone else to create their happiness. And I’m not discounting in the least that happiness can occur beyond my comprehension in a relationship. What I don’t understand is the reason that people would rush you into a relationship... just so you’re in one. I do not need a relationship to be happy, all I need is me… and that I have.

I could be married. I have had the opportunity. I could have been married for years by now, however, I would be compromising my true happiness by settling... just to be in a relationship. I don’t get why people who are divorced, who have had bad relationships, are trying to push a happy person into one.

At my sister’s wedding years ago, my Grandma came up and asked me when I would be next. I looked at her shocked and said, “As you have been in so many successful ones, and are now again single, I should be asking you the same thing.”

Okay… so I said that on the inside… on the outside said, “We’ll see…”

Is this what your thirties are? A mad dash to find “The One”… thanks, but no thanks… I’ll be sitting on the sidelines, my cocktail in hand, during this race.