Stupid Boys

I was sitting at my desk last Friday, anxiously watching the remaining minutes of my day dwindle away when my phone rang.

“Hi OCG, this is HT”

“Hello, how are you?” I responded racking my brain in an attempt to figure out which client this was.

“I was hoping I might be able to talk to you.”

Oh my God… HT?!?! This was the guy Tiki had been seeing for the last several months. She had told him a few weeks ago that she needed some space. Going through a lot in her life, she needed some time to clear her head and think about these changes she was undergoing.

How did HT respond to this request? He left flowers on her doorstep, sent cards to her at work and called constantly… and now me? You are calling her friend (with whom you have hung out with twice) at work?!?

Perhaps this word “space” does not mean what you think it means…

“Ummm, yeah. I will totally talk to you, but I’m just about to get on a conference call with NY. Can we talk later?”

“Okay. Hey, can you not tell Tiki that I called?”

“Yeah, of course.”

GENTLEMEN, at NO time do you ask a girl not to tell her friends something. Girls talk. About. Everything. I know that we talk WAY more than any locker room full of guy. I know what the shape size and feel of the cock of every one of my friends’ hookups. I know what you like in the bedroom. I have not only spoken about the time the two of you have spent together, but we have overanalyzed almost every minute of it.

I was hanging out with the boyfriend of a best friend of mine a while ago. Her boyfriend had the audacity to try and say that he knew her better than I. He argued and argued with me, and I let him think he was correct, all the while thinking, “Really, do you know how many times she’s cheated on you? Because I certainly do.”

So after promising my silence on Friday, I hung up the phone and promptly called Tiki’s work number, cell phone, texted and emailed her in attempts to reach her to see what she wanted me to do. She called him and told him to not contact her friends. He called me back and said that he guessed he respected my loyalty towards my friends.

And again I say, "Stupid boys… Girls talk."