“I just want to lie in bed for the rest of my life.”

Crazy just said this to me as we lie here in bed watching the season finale of “Laguna Beach, the Real OC”… Now that’s quality TV. Forget my BBC World News… if I want to see what’s going on in the world around me, I just need to rely upon MTV.Lord…

Now we watch Sex in the City… the girls visiting LA (I am sorry, but I hate Miranda… her teeth make watching her speak painful.) Southern California is nuts. Seriously… sometimes I forget as I am immersed in this nonsense.

I had a friend visiting Southern California for the first time a couple of weeks ago. As we sat for brunch, another friend looked at him while she pushed the food around her plate and told him, “In Orange County eating disorders are a hobby.” Men and women, all trying to achieve this virtual ideal as to whom they think they should be. I done.

As I am writing this, one of my girlfriends just called me. “Oh my god, OCG, I just went and got laxatives and water pills. I just took the laxatives… I’ll call you and let you know how it works out. Remember no food tastes as good as being thin!” (I swear I am not lying!)

So I shall lie in bed giggling, watching frivolous TV, and eating chips… yummy. I love my bed… it’s oh-so-comfortable. An abundance of blankets and ample fluffy comforters make it submergible.

I was talking with Clark Kent today about whether or not a man that buys satin sheets is a little too fem… his girlfriend has some that he has decided that are ever-so comfortable as he has lingered in bed the last few days enjoying the comfy sweetness of them.

He thought with a manly color like brown, that perhaps they wouldn’t seem so “gay” (his description, not mine). He then brought up the question if they would stain if he came on them. My thought was this, satin dresses would stain with such a… Lewinski, but as sheets would be made for washing, perhaps they would be more stain resistant.

But we still decided that we wouldn’t know without a test of sorts. So I came (no pun intended) up with the idea that he should just come on his girlfriends sheets. If they stain then she’s stuck with the evidence (yes perhaps some bitching might be in order… but at least he’d save the money of ruining his own)… if not, he knows that potentially a good investment is in store…

Do you know? Do satin sheet stain?

I shall ponder this while lying in my cotton cushioned heaven, just after I purge those chips I frivolously ate earlier… god bless So Cal, Laguna Beach, and silky smooth comfort wherever our heads may lay…