As Promised

I am going to show you some of the quality responses I have received from gentlemen (note: term used looooosely). I have about 70 in my mailbox, but I have a couple here that really stood out from the others. See for yourself (although edited for length, spelling and such have been left as they were):

Hello beautiful, Here is my pic. I hope you like tall dark handsome men. I am slightly better looking than my pic :) I have gone to MIT and Harvard so I can hold a stimulating conversation. :) I meditate daily. I prefer to talk first and then meet for coffee or a walk on the beach to make sure the chemistry is right.
Cheers, 45-year-old Bachelor #1
976-555-1234

Please note. If this guy is slightly better looking than his pic, he still wouldn’t be tall, dark nor handsome. The age doesn’t really bother me… The Man was 47 (yes, someone three years younger than my mother)… but I still said that I was seeking a man 27- 40.


From a 22-year-old Bachelor #2:
I'm a former college football player and now a high school football and basketball coach, while I finish school. I'm a real fun guy, goofy and have been told hilarious. I love sports, gambling, movies, t.v. and the theater- it's my guilty pleasure. I'm very sweet, caring and considerate and believe in treating a women like a lady. In a women I'm just looking for someone cute, intellignet, funny, caring, considerate and who will love me for me. I'm different, I come from a small town, I like country music and I don't surf of skateboard. I'm not like a lot of guys in the city, I'm goofy, but a blast, and I just want someone to love me for me and Who can enjoy my life as much as I'll enjoy theres. And pay no attention to income I always have money and make things happen. If this is you I would love to talk to you. Hit me up with a message or e-mail me.

A gambler and someone who misspells “intelligent” and believes in treating “a women” like a lady, as well as enjoying “there” life… must be brilliant. Although this boy is as cute as a button… and a little fun in the sand never hurt anyone… right? My question is this, if I am suppose to “pay no attention” to the fact that he has no income, how does he manage to “always have money”? Will the police be joining us on one of our dates?


Hey OCEG,
I saw you profile on here and I thought you were a hottie, and you still think you are. ha ha. I really like your pic's and your smile. My profile is on here, feel free to check it out. Write me back or look for me on IM under "xxxx" my e-mail is xxxx@xxx.com
Talk to you soon, Bachelor #3

Please if you are attempting to impress me in your first attempt at “conversing” with me, please make sure you spell my name correctly.


Hello, What an incredible smile, such bright and bold eyes, what lovely lips. Had to stop, look, read, enjoy and say hello. Would love to chat if you will.
Cheers, Bachelor #4
xxxcute@xxx.com

Aofall, I love that he stopped to have “a look” and “enjoy”. Bleck. And if you have “cute” in your email address… really?

Hi :) How are you? I am not a very good writer, especially here over the net. I read your profile and of course I looked carefully to your picture :) And here I am, trying to be a pen friend of yours for now. How about you beautiful lady? Would you like to chat with me and get to know me better ??? :)) Bachelor #5

Again… thank you for taking a “careful look” at my picture. Who are these people? No wonder they have to resort to online dating. (Said the girl, who is herself, online dating.)




So I am unsure as to what I should do. They aren’t all this bad. Perhaps I could have some fun going out with random people, but I don’t think I am a very good serial dater. I have started receiving double messages from people commenting on how I haven’t returned anything regarding their initial message to me (hello, can you say “take a hint”) yet I am still bummed that Buddy Holly Glasses isn’t one of them. Isn’t it nice, this double standard that I have easily slid myself into?