Freaky Friday

(If you want to skip the serious stuff... please scroll to the bottom... it's a real treat)

Prayer Please

I am going to try and stay off my soap box that I so naturally have by my side. I have discovered that nothing can make someone so incredibly passionate for a cause, like a loved one being affected. Dottie, LJ’s (my roommate) mother, is in the hospital. After many years of smoking her body has now begun to shut down. She doesn’t have lung cancer, but her body is no longer able to absorb oxygen like it should. This has caused pneumonia, COPD and her heart to swell in attempting to compensate for her under productive lungs. The doctor said if she would have quit 30 years ago, this wouldn’t be a problem. Now they are unsure if she will make it out of the hospital.

I know some of you smoke, I know it is more difficult to quit than anything in the world. Please try and quit. It just isn’t worth it. I do not comprehend why the hell the government allows this to be a legal activity. Cigarettes are killing everyone we love.


CNNing

I have a big mouth. This is how I got the nickname CNN, tell me something and I will broadcast it to the world. Now I have gotten much better about this over the years, and if you tell me not to tell other people and I agree, I won’t tell anyone else. If you tell me something that is so horrifying, ask me to not tell anyone else and I laugh at you… expect it to be on the internet the following day.

On that note…

Da Bod called me last night. I hadn’t spoken with him since his birthday night. We were doing our nearly ritualistic, “making sure you still love me after I was a drunk-ass” phone call to one another. After discussing the other night he said, “I did something and I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

The thoughts running through my head after this comment… bazillions.

He proceeded to tell me, “I went to Tijuana last.”

I just replied, “You got a hooker didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

Now I can not tell you the plethora of thoughts streaming through my mind at this time. I don’t hate him, I wouldn’t hate him for that shite, but the fact that I have previously vowed to never again hook up with him has been permanently sealed.

I mean, I can’t imagine such premeditation. It’s not like you are wasted in Vegas with your boys and decided to head to The Ranch… you instead got in a car with two of your ‘buddy’s’ drove an hour into the sleaziest part of a foreign country, went to a whore house, picked out the chick you wanted to fuck and took her upstairs and proceeded to do the deed.

Da Bod is not a bad looking guy. I am at a loss as to why he didn’t just go to a bar and pick up some random chick. This entire thing is beyond me… He told me that he wore a condom, then acted like I was an idiot for even asking such things. Hello?!? You are the dumbass that went to fuck a whore and now you are going to act as though I am off kilter because I asked you if you wrapped that shit up? Then he proceeded to tell me that he scrubbed in the shower for “like ten minutes”. Unless you cut it off and soaked it in bleach for a while, I don’t want to hear about any OCDesque practices you attempted.


Nuts for Trucks

I haven’t had the ::cough:: privilege to see such things, however Hot Momma has apparently seen said item on two trucks… I have read about it in a hilarious book. Apparently this is a phenomena that very high class men participate in.

When driving a truck they will tie a tube sock onto the tow-hitch in the back, and drop two tennis balls side-by-side in the bottom of the sock, giving the illusion of a dangly set of testicles flying behind their vehicle as they drive. (It wasn't until I posted this that I came to realize that there is actually a market for these...)

Now that my friends has “class” written ALL over it. (And I am the single one?)



HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!