Just another day in paradise...

"Erections, Ejaculation, Exhibitions, and General Tales of Ordinary Madness" -Charles Bukowski

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

I went out on a date last night...

(I can hear you gasping out of disbelief now... stop it).

Although when I agreed to go out, I didn't fully realize it was a date. This guy now is super stoked on me and can't wait to go out again (he has asked me out for Friday and Monday, whichever works out for me...). In addition is very good friends with Beach Chic, so while telling him I am not "into him that way", I have to tread lightly because if I hurt his feelings she will be beyond pissed (and rightly so). I am thinking about just telling him I can't go out on Friday night because I have a date, but maybe he and I can hang out some other time soon (please note casual tone of "hanging out" with him).

What do you think?

How do I tell a guy that I am honestly interested in as far as a friendship goes (he is very cool) that all I want is a friendship NO more.

Advice?

posted by hannahhas @ Wednesday, February 08, 2006  

13 Comments:

  • At 2/08/2006 02:44:00 PM, Blogger Sizzle said…

    you say: "i really love hanging out with you but i don't feel that this is going further than the friendship level."

    but that's just me. i am tactless and too direct.

    you gotta find your own groove.

     

  • At 2/08/2006 02:58:00 PM, Blogger EB72 said…

    I agree with Ms. Sizz.

    Only, I've been in this spot more than I care to think about and I KNOW how hard it is to be that direct. The Beach Chic element makes it even harder too. Sooo... deep breath and do it anyway!

    Good luck!

     

  • At 2/08/2006 03:00:00 PM, Blogger hotpinksox said…

    For what it's worth from a total stranger.

    I totally agree with Ms. Sizzle. Remember to be direct and honest. It's always best.

    or you could be like me and not to the guy for a few weeks until he gets it. (I don't recommend this approach.) But if you are like me, about 3 months from now you'll realize your mistake in wanting to be "just friends" and want to date him.

    good luck!

     

  • At 2/08/2006 03:10:00 PM, Blogger Mr. Rodacre said…

    Speaking from experience, your angle is probably best. Though if you do end up "hanging out" again, you may want to straight up tell him that he's cool but you just aren't feeling it.

    I know I always appreciate the honesty... even though it sucks.

     

  • At 2/08/2006 04:13:00 PM, Blogger hannahhas said…

    Sizz- I know that would be the mature and direct way to handle this situation, but I am concerned he will be hurt. He is in the place (which I should have known before agreeing to go out with him) of wanting a girlfriend “right now”.

    Nothing turns me off more than desperation.


    EB72- Breathing now…

    (very nice to see you back)
    ;-)


    HotPink- I can’t ignore, as I have the Beach Chic factor…

    And I PROMISE that in a few months time I shant change my mind…


    Mr. R- Thank you.

    ::curtsey::

    I love people who tell me I am right…. but I do think that is a good… only semi-avoidance way to deal with the problem… no?

     

  • At 2/09/2006 06:38:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    do what sizz says... in your own nice platonic way. Frankly if it hurts him, too bad- i say it this way only because of the "he's the type who wants a girlfriend now" part. Thats not your problem- and anyone (he) who approaches a situation that way, that openly about it (ie the fact that you know that even) is silly of them. For that, he gets what he gets- and perhaps in time will earn what he earns if he plays his cards right- though probably not, eh?- JRL

     

  • At 2/09/2006 07:28:00 AM, Blogger hannahhas said…

    brack- I think you are right...

    I sent him yesterday (Oh how do I love the age of technology when one no longer needs to have phone conversations): "Hey I think I have plans on Friday night... we haven't confirmed them for sure... still waiting to find out... maybe monday we can hang out?"
    (yes, I know, I have no balls)

    What I awoke to this morning to a message from him: "Yeah no worries darling. We can just play it by ear. I'd love to see you again soon, but you're very much worth any wait. Just let me know darling!"


    I mean this is after only two drinks... and he calls me "darling" twice in three sentences... I never kissed the guy or anything... We've got a stage 5 clinger here.

    Looks like I'm gonna have to 'sack up Charlie, before I have to punch him in the ovaries'... (one of lalo's and my favorite sayings)

     

  • At 2/09/2006 07:34:00 AM, Blogger EB72 said…

    OC Girl! I never "left" you. I've been here all along -- I just haven't been commenting.

    (I'll fix that pronto!)


    I hear you on the darling thing. I had a man that kept calling me princess ... we hadn't even had a drink yet! So I declined the drink the eight times it was offered. I was direct with him over and over but he didn't give up. Brace yourself OCG - this guy might be one of those!

     

  • At 2/09/2006 07:40:00 AM, Blogger hannahhas said…

    EB72- I saw you lurking in the corners...

    ;-)

    I decided that the direct approach is best, so I just sent this off to him: "You were awesome to hang out with, and I look forward to doing it again soon. I just want to make sure we are on the same page about our expectations. I am not looking for anyone to date right now, nor planning on dating anyone right now, and just want to make that clear prior to us hanging out again. I think you are awesome and would feel horrible if I were to mislead you in anyway. I hope you still would like to kick it with me on Monday night. I truly did have a great time the other night!"

    So we shall see the outcome...

     

  • At 2/09/2006 08:37:00 AM, Blogger Heather B. said…

    YOu can do what I did and ignore him completely, which includes running away from him in the university cafeteria and at frat parties. That should keep him away. Then again, that was when I was 19 and I have since matured. Ok, not really. Just try it, I promise it will work.

    ;-)

     

  • At 2/09/2006 08:43:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    yup, sick real quick... JRL

     

  • At 2/09/2006 09:41:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    wow- real sick- JRL

     

  • At 2/10/2006 10:27:00 AM, Blogger Bone said…

    I believe the problem might be that you just don't realize how hot you really are ;-)

     

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