Back in the Saddle Again

I begin my new job tomorrow. After swearing it off for good, I am going to bite the bullet and once again wait on tables. The joy of my life…

This is all for a means to an end. After meeting with college counselors it has been determined that one year from now I can finally be holding my college degree in hand. I just need to keep my eye on the prize to get through one more year of serving tables.

In order to ensure I graduate as soon as possible, and the school doesn’t throw me any last minute curve balls, I will begin classes this summer. Less than a month’s time and I will be once again battling parking at the University.

I will also be stashing away cash in hopes of moving out of my mother’s house as soon as possible. Although I am very grateful that she and her new hubby have opened up their home to me, I will be equally as appreciative to get the heck out. I don’t imagine living with a newly-wed couple is good for anyone, when it’s your mother it’s even worse.

My mother was telling me the other day that her neighbor was selling her house… my mother then went on to add the reason that she probably was selling it was because the walls were paper thin and she was tired of hearing the bedrooms on both sides of hers. I looked at my mother and said, “I really don’t need to hear anymore.”

She continued, saying the previous neighbor had said that he had heard my mom’s husband when they were dating. I cried out, “Mom, no more!” She looked at me and to drive the nail in just that much further she said that he had told her to think of it as a compliment to her. I left the room.

I have created a monster. My mother was never open about sex, until the last few years I became more open about it. My mother never even explained to my sisters or me about what sex was, or what periods were for that matter. All information was given to us by friends, because my mom was too uncomfortable to discuss it. Now she’s a regular Sue Johanson. Brilliant.

It’s not just the thought that potential love making might be going on two floors above me (thank God for three story townhouses), I am just ready to get out of here. They need their space and I need mine.

Yesterday I was doing laundry and while transporting my step-dad’s clothes from the washer into the dryer, I realized that a pair of my panties had gotten in with his wash. I was a little grossed out, but remembered that through the course of the wedding weekend many people in the family (including myself and he) used the office (a.k.a. my uber temporary bedroom) to change clothes (at different times) for various functions we had to attend. I assumed they had gotten in the mix there.

I told my mom later in the day that a pair of my panties had gotten into a load of his clothes, and when she asked me how that had happened, I explained the situation to her. She thought that was weird. I agreed, adding, “Unless you have the same black lacy pair of panties from Victoria’s Secret.” She looked at me and said, “Those are mine.” Completely grossed out I told her I had her panties hanging on the knob of my bedroom door.

So… yeah… I am going to start my new job tomorrow and I am going to be moving out of my mom’s house ASAP, before I find a french maid costume that isn't mine. Tip your waitress well, my friends, it may be me.