OCG's Adventure

When I was younger I used to love the “choose your own adventure” books. I would read and reread the books until every scenario had been chosen, through any variety of paths. I now find myself in the middle of my own “choose OCG’s adventure”.

I fully realize that this is indeed what life is, nothing more than a series of choices that we compile, and once we look back we realize that each one of these options built up and put us smack dab where we are, right here in our own adventure. Rarely, however, do we reach such an obvious crossroads in life as “Go Right” or “Go Left”.

Not too long ago a blover emailed me and said that I had mellowed out. I thought he was joking as this was just after my St. Patrick’s weekend post, and I asked him if he was. He replied in fact no, he was serious. He said he had read through some of my last several entries and I had mellowed out. Looking back, he was right.

At the end of last summer as my readership picked up, I was recording my life as I was in the process of and later getting out of a brief, yet serious, relationship with someone whom I thought I was going to spend forever with. I got over him like any SoCal girl in her 20s would, I partied my ass off. My hungover days at work were spent chronicling the previous evening’s memories, however fleeting they were in my mind, on this fun thing called the blog.

In the last few months I have made a conscious choice to not be such a drunk whore, and instead have settled down quite a bit. This is good for my life and liver, but makes for more boring reading on my blog.

In addition, and as I have stated previously, this blog isn’t as anonymous as I would like (but I. Can’t. Stop. making blog-friends… you people rule) and some of my choices are very blog-ish related… in a way my two worlds have collided.

Instead of pouring through my thoughts on my blog (as I may have if this was purely “real world” stuff), I find that I am mostly in my head and exchanging emails about these potential life changes. I know this is all getting very blah blah blah. Basically it’s this. I have settled down. Much of this is due to someone significant in my life… someone whom I met through being OCG. Now I can choose to not settle in Portland and once again pick-up and randomly move across the country. For a boy.

Now on the other side of this is a “big secret” that I haven’t shared. Due to my impromptu move to SoCal I left school with less than a year left. I never graduated. I do not have my undergraduate degree and I am not only embarrassed by this fact, but disappointed in myself. None of my recent employers have known this, which is part of the reason that I have kept this all on the DL, I couldn’t risk losing my job over this lie.

A reason that I told many people that I was returning to Portland was to finish my degree*, which I would truly like to do, although when I said this I had no intention of doing so. Now I find myself so incredibly drawn to finishing my education and hopefully continuing onto further bigger and better things. I won’t lie. I am crazy jealous of what Lizzie is doing with her life.

So here I am, in the bedroom of a boy I love, contemplating (just as I did the majority of my car ride up to Portland) where my future might take me. Or rather, where I am going to take myself.



* The California University systems wouldn’t accept all of my abundance of credits (due to changing my major far too many times) and were going to make me complete at least two more years of school.