Lullaby *

When you're so lonely lying in bed
Night's closed its eyes but you can't rest your head
Everyone's sleeping all through the house
You wish you could dream but forgot to somehow
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Sing this lullaby to yourself

I called my mom on my way home from work tonight. I was heading home a couple of hours earlier than I thought I would be, and (though I knew it to be late for her) called to see if she was up. She said she was, and I told her I would be home soon. I was excited to get home (and even if only for a brief moment) hang out with her and my new step-dad. I got home and the lights of the house were out, less the dim illumination escaping through the curtains of her bedroom. I was bummed.

And if you are waiting, waiting for me
Know I'll be home soon darling I guarantee
I'll be home Sunday just in one week
Dry up your tears if you start to weep
And sing this lullaby to yourself
Sing this lullaby to yourself

I went to my bedroom and saw that Beach Chic was online. I chatted with her for a bit. During that time we both lamented over the loneliness that we were feeling. Although the both of us could go out, we were stuck in the between place of desiring to do something, yet not desiring to go out. Just a basic feeling of lonely.

Beach Chic told me (referring to our friend, Natasha, whose boyfriend decided that Texas was too far away from Newport Beach and he could stand the distance no longer and moved to be with her), “Natasha has Dan… and all I have is peanut butter and jelly”.

I think we all like the place where we can do nothing with someone and it becomes something.

Lullaby, I'm not nearby
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Don't you cry, no don't you cry
Sing this lullaby to yourself

I am in the state that I am not feeling social, yet want someone to hang out with… just doing nothing… I am excited even to hang out with my mom and step-dad. When I realized they were in bed for the night I seriously considered calling my sister to see if my niece and nephews were still up. I know they are always down to hang out.

Cause when I arrive dear it won't be that long
No it won't seem like anytime that I've been gone
It ain't the first time it won't be the last
Won't you remember these words to help the time pass?

Sometimes All of the time the distance in a long distance relationship can get wearing. Sometimes I don’t know if I have the patience for it. But then he calls and just the sound of his voice reminds me that I can be patient (if this LDR has taught me anything, its patience). Regardless if one year sounds longer than anything I could possibly bear, he reminds me we will be fine, and I know everything will be.

So when you're so lonely lying in bed
Night's closed it's eyes but you can't rest your head
Everyone's sleeping all through the house
You wish you could dream but forgot to somehow
Sing this lullaby, sing this lullaby
Sing this lullaby to yourself

Beach Chic grabbed her peanut butter and jelly sandwich… I grabbed a Black Butte Porter... crawling into bed I sang this lullaby to myself.


* Jack Johnson featuring Matt Costa, "Lullaby"