Just another day in paradise...

"Erections, Ejaculation, Exhibitions, and General Tales of Ordinary Madness" -Charles Bukowski

Friday, July 14, 2006


At the end of last summer I began partying pretty hard. You read of much of it here, but it went beyond that. In addition to the drinking I was doing nearly daily, I was also popping a lot of pills… diet pills, anxiety pills, pain pills, sleeping pills… the list goes on and on. Mind you I needed none of these, yet I continued to take them in excess… “for fun”.

Last September I was spending a lazy day nursing a hangover with a beer on my terrace and thought a few pain pills thrown in would make the day complete. I went down to my friend’s who handed me a couple three pills. Like a kid with candy, without thinking, I threw them all down my throat. My friend looked at me wide-eyed and said, “I didn’t mean for you to take those all at once. That was two Oxycontin and a Vicodin… I can’t wait to see you in fifteen minutes.”

Fifteen minutes later I was just fine… five hours later I was not. I nearly OD’d. My body did not like the drug cocktail I took, and it did not respond well. I sat on my living room chair, dozing in and out of consciousness. I woke up gasping a couple of times because my body was forgetting to remind itself to inhale. It was scary. My roommate and friend both continued to check on me throughout the night. The next morning my roommate was still coming into my room every thirty minutes to ensure I was ok.

This situation was
completely unintentional. In no way was I trying to harm myself, I was just trying to have fun. It all too often begins as just that. I slowly stopped popping a plethora of pills, and after Thanksgiving I decided I was done. I still may take a sleeping pill or pain pill when needed, but I don’t look at my tin of multi-colored pills as hours of fun.

I completely forgot about this incident last year, until today.

Fox is my little sister’s age. They went to school together growing up. It was after high school I became friends with him. We worked together at a couple of the same places. Fox and I began to hang in the same group of people. He became like my naughty little brother and I adored him for it. Fox OD’d two nights ago on Oxycontin while out to have a good night with some of his friends just before he moved to Hawaii to begin his new life.

I was so incredibly frustrated because it is so incredibly unnecessary. Then a friend reminded me how easy it was for me to do. I had forgotten. I won’t again.


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