Have You Posted Yet?

First off… CONGRATS Rusty… you’ll be an amazing Papa!!!



I decided that I needed to take it eee-zee this weekend. I found out last minute on Friday that my roommate, LJ, was to be gone for the weekend, which ALWAYS makes for a better weekend, regardless… the freedom to just be without other people bugging is always fab.

I decided Friday afternoon I was going to have a mellow weekend, not leave my house, turn off my phone, try on sobriety and write.

Yeah… about that…

I did fairly okay (less that phone nonsense, but who really expected me to be able to live phoneless?!?!) for a solid three… hours Friday night. Then LaLo called and wine (though not too much) and dinner happened.

I awoke Saturday, enjoyed some of the most unbelievable weather, I mean seriously, nearly November and laying out on the terrace, reading and getting sunburnt… I *heart* So Cal.

LaLo called in the afternoon and asked me to join her and mom (I have been pretty much adopted by LaLo’s mom) for cocktails and lunch on the Laguna Hotel Terrace. Again I say, gorgeous… I left on my way home with a bottle of wine the waitress had mistakenly brought us, we decided to keep and I took home.

While driving up PCH in the left lane, I saw a police car in the right lane as I car-danced along with my new-to-me “Best of Jackson 5” CD. After my experience a couple of weeks ago, and having not received my tags yet for my car, I immediately turned left at the next corner, planning on taking the back road home.

Who was at the next corner waiting for me? Indeed none other than our man in blue, who immediately got behind me and flipped on his lights. Now I wasn’t drunk, but I have had several close people get DUIs lately, so I was a little concerned that not only had I drank a few glasses of wine, I also had a bottle sitting on the seat next to me.

I grabbed the bottle and put it under said seat as Officer Hottie approached the car. “Hi there, you are driving fine, but I noticed your tags are expired on your car.”

Smiling and feeling very friendly towards Officer Hottie, I replied, “I know, I was just pulled over last week and, this is embarrassing, but I had no idea that they were even expired. I just mailed off for my new registration, but I haven’t received them yet.”

“Well, just show me your license and insurance information then please.”

(I still have some “kinks” I am working out with my license sitch, bee-tee-dub)

I handed it over, and reached into my glove box for my insurance. Would I have learned my lesson last week? Nope.

“Umm, I am really sorry, but I had to take out my insurance to copy it for my registration, and I forgot to put it back.”

Officer Hottie looked at me and said, “Did the Officer give you a ticket last week?”

I looked at him and said, “No he didn’t… I hope that I don’t get anyone in trouble though by saying that…” (Showing false concern for a fellow boy-in-blue can’t hurt, right?)

He then told me that he was going to write me a ticket for the registration, that way if I was pulled over again I could show it as proof that I was aware of it and had taken steps to resolve the problem… but if I came down to the station when I got the stickers, he would write off the ticket.

Yessssssssssss. I only hoped that he had added his phone number to the ticket... but whatev. I am oh-so-glad that I did my hair and make-up and had put on a cute outfit. If ever I get pulled over by a chick I am so absolutely fucked, it won’t even be funny.

The evening consisted of more wine, some painting and fun with LaLo and SB.

I decided in lieu of a “Sunday Funday” I needed to have a “Sober Sunday”. I had work that still needed to be done, some more books I hoped to finish… and a Monday morning just around the corner, that I hoped would be NO reflection of last week.

I did well, I had one beer through the course of lunch and nothing more… until SB’s hot friend arrived at LaLo’s last night to hang out. He is hilarious. I thought I had good stories to share… oh no... this guy had me rolling with various tales of a psycho ex.

As we sat there drinking beer he told me about how she was a bartender at a strip club, so it was good because he got to go to a strip club every night and get free drinks. One of the (many) bad sides, however, was that his girlfriend would occasionally buy him lap dances and then get mad at him for looking as though he enjoyed it too much.

I told him that if I bought a guy a lap dance, I certainly hope they enjoyed it. That would be the reason I got it for him… I told him I would hope that it would get hard, or at least move. He said, “It only gets hard if I know I am going to get laid.”

I leaned in and said, “Is it hard right now?”

So I will be going to his house tonight, handing out some candy, soaking in a hot tub… and just enjoying it all…