Urine for a treat

I received a phone call the other morning from one of my girlfriends. Distressed she told me, “OCG, I think I peed the bed last night. I didn’t even think I was that drunk.”

“At his house or was he at yours?”

“No, I was home alone.”

“Oh, then that’s no biggie, I totally peed in a guys bed before.”

“What?!?”

“Seriously, I peed in a guy’s bed before.”

“OCG, what did he do?!?!”

“Oh, he wasn’t in bed with me anymore. It was in the morning and he had already gone downstairs. I really had to go to the bathroom, but since the only bathroom was downstairs, I figured I would just hold it and fall back asleep. When I woke up there was a wet spot below me, and I didn’t need to go to the bathroom anymore. Luckily during the course of the night the sheets had become torn off the bed, and so I did it directly on his mattress. I got up, threw on my clothes, made his bed and headed downstairs. Not before setting his cat on top of it. I don’t know why I thought that he might think the cat had done it, but I was flipping out.”

“Did he ever find out?”

“I don’t think so… we hooked up after that and he never said anything. His sister, K, was my best friend, so I did tell her. She told me not to worry that she had done something similar before with her ex-boyfriend. They had gone out drinking one night and after going to bed he woke up with her sitting on one of her pulled out chest-of-drawers. He asked what he was doing and she said, ‘Shhhh, I’m going to the bathroom.’ He has to practically drag her to the bathroom, not before a drawer of clothes had their very own Golden Shower.”

The seemingly constant through these stories is that they start out, “One night after I was drinking …” But truly I know so many girls that have these stories…

After K had told a friend of ours, Elle, about her clothes pee-asco, Elle told K that a neighbor had gone out of town and Elle was supposed to take care of her garden while she was gone. One night… Elle’s fiancé awoke to her peeing at the end of the bed. Elle explained to him that she was watering the neighbor’s garden.

After Shell told me her story a while ago, we all ended up sharing bad hook up stories. She once again topped ours. She had a friend she hooked up with for the first time and completely peed the bed with him in it. She was utterly mortified, and was sure that hey were never going to hang out again.

Shell ran into him again at a bar and they again ended up hooking up. I shit you not, she peed his bed again. Now please don’t get me wrong. Shell has never in her adult life peed the bed... except for these two times… with the same guy. How pissed was he? Needless to say they haven’t hooked up again.

I relayed these stories to my friend, assuring her that really it wasn’t that bad. She didn’t see it that way as she now had all of her bedding to wash, including her feather bed. That does suck.

But perhaps just knowing that she’s not the only one that these things have occurred to, might make feel a bit better. And… perhaps… tinkled her fancy as well.