Tongue Tied Titillation?

Girls’ Night last night at Le and I-E’s was awesome. You gotta love sake, beer, canned champagne… and dinner conversations of female ejaculation (I am doing research on this new-to-me concept…), labium, how controlling we like guys in bed and relationships… you know… the norm.

Stories shall be shared here soon… I assure you…

In the mean time I am having a stalker problem. Problem in the way that he lives a couple of states away and doesn’t know where I live exactly… and it gives me something to complain about… and makes me feel oddly wanted… so maybe not so much a problem as much as an annoyance.

I first spoke about Jak a while ago. I haven’t seen Jak in six years, and have spoken to him a handful of times since then. I haven’t spoken to him since I posted that back in April. Mind you that hasn’t stopped him from calling me every couple of weeks… texting me… all the while I have not returned one text or answered one phone call.

Except I made two errors…

The First: on November 1st I texted him to say Happy Birthday. He had called me several times around my birthday and I thought a birthday wish was fine. It merely said, “Happy Birthday”. That’s it. No song and dance, no can’t wait to speak with you… just a nice gesture.

This caused my phone to BLOW the fuck up. I should have known better. So every night he began calling me generally at least twice and in addition sending text messages.

The Second: The other night I was texting OCB (formally known as Tut… however he didn’t like his name… whatev… such hi-mai blovers). My phone will answer an incoming call if you hit any button on it, so in the midst of this text Jak called and I accidentally answered, as I was typing my message … I frantically tried to hang up, however the “message being saved to outbox” appeared on the screen, not allowing me to hang up and drop the call for about 4-5 seconds as the radio played in the background, I cursed under my breath and hit the “end call” button with fervor. Jak called back immediately, I sent it to voice mail and he called me about four more times… doing the girl trick of *67 (which I didn’t fall for) and texting.

I know that I could be an adult and answer the phone. I just don’t want to tell someone that was once a good friend, that I have no desire to get caught up in the drama of his life, jail issues, girlfriend issues, and probably (I would think) drug issues. I don’t want to encourage him in ANY way, as with no encouragement he is still “stalking” me.

So yesterday afternoon I received a text message. (Important side note, Jak used to tease me that I was too white for him… this All-American white boy golfer, needed more olive tones in his woman’s skin). The text: “You were never too white, I was just too blind, you have so much of what I wanted, and yet I acted like you didn’t. Thanks for the birthday wish. I will stop bugging you now. –Jak”

I was relieved. It was over.

Last night at dinner my phone rang. People with whom I speak to often have their own rings. After a couple of beers and sake I mistook “Still Dre” (my everybody ring) with “Big Pimpin” (Da Bod’s ring) I know… I know… I ask myself how one could make such an error too...

“Hey stranger!” It wasn’t Da Bod… it was Jak who *67’d me again. Aofall that is such a chick move and Bofall "Why God, Why?!?! " :fist shaking in air:

“I am at a dinner party, can I call you later?”

“Promise you’ll call?”

Shore.

“Yes, of course I will.”

I didn’t. Surprise…

I awoke this morning, heavy headed… can of champagne lying next to my bed and a text awaiting my retrieval, “Just wonder what I did to get on your shitlist”.

So do I call him, potentially giving him hope that we can re-establish some type of relationship (which I do not want). Or do I ignore him, as he lives a couple states away and I will never again see him… hoping that he will truly get the hint…

What do you think?