Love Me and I'll Love You Back...

Just before I left for Oregon I had dinner with my friend Joe. As he and I sat at dinner the conversation drifted towards a mutual friend of ours, James, who has been married for six years. Joe and I both had a bit of information shared to each us by James… In James’ life he has only received three blow jobs. Yes, I said Three Blow Jobs. James said his wife thinks they are “icky” (I assure you his word, not mine) and he told me that at least two of them were not from her.

I was floored when I initially found this out. I have spoiled certain guys and given them three blow jobs in a single day… I simply can not fathom that this is what James has (or rather, hasn’t) experienced in his entire life.

Joe then said something along the lines of, “Women should know if they don’t satisfy their man, then their man will find someone else who gives them what they need.”

I didn’t like this comment.

I told Joe (as I have previously shared with you) about when I was in The South I had surprised EB when he came home from work. I had baked a chocolate cake from scratch and I was wearing my new school girl outfit, ready to give him a very good welcome home indeed.

Joe said he was impressed and that is how women should keep their men satisfied. I responded to Joe that it was a two way street, my man needs to keep me satisfied as well, but what satisfies me is completely different than what satisfies him.

I have briefly talked previously here and here about keeping men satisfied, but I don’t think I have clarified what we as women need in return.

I am not generally an insecure girl, however if you have received the impression that I am completely low maintenance, I have grossly mislead you. I need to know, as all women do, that I am loved. Sometimes I am going through more stressful times in my life and (regardless if the stress has to do with my relationship or not) I need, even more, the confirmation of your love for me.

When I returned from The South last month I was having a very stressful time. In between preparing to move and leave SoCal, as well as thinking about the event that had transpired the few weeks before with EB and me, I was becoming overwhelmed with life. Even though we had just spent an amazing time together and I had decided to extend my holiday when I was there, I needed EB to reassure me of his love for me.

Extreme stress and insecurity was something EB hadn’t previously dealt with me and he began to pull away, just when I needed the additional affirmation from him. We began creating this downward spiral between the two of us, me basically freaking out because he was pulling away, and him pulling away because I was freaking out. Sounds pretty doesn’t it?

I told him I needed him to give me what I need to be satisfied, the reassurance through his words and actions that he loved me… that I was the woman he was willing to fight for. This completely changed our dynamic. He began telling me often that he loved me, and in turn it completely lowered my stress about us and changed the way I was acting towards him.

Everything was great… because he took the few extra moments throughout the day to tell me that he loved me. The earth, the moon, and the stars can brighten in a woman’s life when a man takes the few extra minutes to go out of his way to tell her that she is special in his world.

I explained to Joe as we finished our meals that I was very happy that EB had listened to my words and was more attentive to my needs… it isn’t every girl that comes along willing to bake cakes and give you daily blow jobs while dressed up as a school girl. I told Joe, “Men should know if they don’t satisfy their woman, then their woman will find someone else who gives them what they need.”

Joe knew I was right. I saw him grabbing his mobile phone just after leaving the restaurant, I am sure giving that special someone in his life the words of encouragement that she would like to hear... just because… sometimes it can make all of the difference in her world.