Just another day in paradise...

"Erections, Ejaculation, Exhibitions, and General Tales of Ordinary Madness" -Charles Bukowski

Friday, June 09, 2006

Five-Oh... no... not again....

My mom’s wedding pictures came in today… or rather the link to see them was emailed out, so we could all check them out virtually. After the Christmas party Beach Chic asked me if I paid the guy to take horrible pictures of me… you would think after seeing the pictures today that he had the same motive.

I wanted a different photographer, but my mother really wanted to use this guy again (he photographed her Christmas party this last year, and there we realized that he had also been the photographer for my sisters [short-lived] wedding). As it was my mom's wedding, who am I to argue…

The photographer really likes my family, so much so that as they gave the toasts just before cutting the cake, the photographer decided to give a toast as well… I knew that the Maid of Honor and the Best Man had these responsibilities…but the photographer? News to me. And news to my mother who stood there a little shocked as her photographer toasted to how much he loved this family… I mean really… but what's not to love?!?

Granted this is the same man that last Christmas took a liking to my (already married) aunt so much so, that towards the end of the evening he handed off his camera to a guest of the party so the guest could take a picture of the photographer and my aunt together. He feels very comfortable with us.

Today I had a little incident with the police. I know that I have blogged previously about getting pulled over in Laguna, and the kind officers letting me go on my way… well today almost made up for anytime that I got of the hook easily.

I was on a side street driving on my way to work this evening when I saw a motorcycle officer in the bushes ahead… unfortunately too late. I slowed a smidge, but he pulled out behind me and I pulled over. When he approached the car, I gave him my California license and explained to him that I didn’t have my registration or proof of insurance in the car.

Now you think that I would know by now where these items are (although I actually should be receiving my new Oregon insurance proof shortly), but to be honest I have no idea where the registration for my car is… I could have packed it in a box with my “important papers”… or I could have thrown it away, your guess is as good as mine… but without all the paper mess in my glove compartment I have room for my pedi kit... and we all have our priorities.

However I told the officer that I had left them both at my mother’s house, as I needed them to get information for registering my car in Oregon. To be honest with you, and you alone, I don’t plan on registering my car for a long time. My tags are good for another year, and I don’t feel like spending the money on registering it in Oregon, when I don’t even know how much longer I will live here.

Mr. Officer told me that I needed to have these items in my car and he could write fines for much more, but he wouldn’t this time, “just get those papers back in your car!” I agreed, “Yes, Sir!” and watched him walk behind my car to write the speeding ticket.

While he was back there I thought it a good opportunity to pick up my car, I had a few scattered papers and water bottles that had been bugging me so I started to pick up and get all of the garbage together. When I sat back up, I saw another police car behind me and two more officers “on the scene”. I assumed they were curious and had stopped.

I called my mom while still waiting and told her what was happening, fearing that she would be driving by on her way home. While I spoke with her two additional police cars arrived and four more policemen gathered around. At this point I freaked. I told my mom I thought I was getting arrested. I began shaking and stressing completely as over half a dozen police officers gathered behind me and several police vehicles (motorcycle, suburban and two cars) with flashing lights was all I could see in my rear view mirror.

After Mr. Officer had been behind my car for ten or fifteen minutes on his radio and assembling this congregation of officers, he began to walk towards my window, with each side of my car being flanked by two more officers. He got to my window, checked my VIN then said, “It is really important that you have your registration on you at all times. When I ran your plates they came up a stolen motorcycle from California. Make sure you go home and get that registration back in this car. Here’s your speeding ticket blah blah blah.”

I nearly shat myself. I seriously thought there was a serious fucking issue… as did every rubber-necker on the small (yet busy) two lane road I was pulled over on. I pulled away, still shaking… and hoping they didn’t notice my burnt out tail light as I left…

I worked all night and still didn’t make enough to cover the cost of the ticket… at least it’s cheaper than jail.


  • At 6/09/2006 06:26:00 AM, Blogger Sizzle said…

    holy crap! i would have been shitting myself too. it's times like that- even when you know you didn't do anything horrible- that the stress can really get to you. starts playing tricks with your mind. i am sorry that happened to you!

    maybe we should start our own phone sex line to make some extra dough? ;)

  • At 6/09/2006 07:29:00 AM, Blogger Wombat & Aspen said…

    Those OR coppers should spend time in the OC to learn how to properly treat an OCG.

    The cheek! Shouldn't they be pulling you over to tell you how cute you look and ask you out for a date?

    Not cool.


  • At 6/09/2006 11:07:00 AM, Blogger Heather B. said…

    I too refuse to register my car in DC, though I've been living here for ages...it's also ridiculously expensive and I am damn lazy. I almost would rather just go to jail...

  • At 6/09/2006 03:03:00 PM, Blogger Nihilistic said…

    You are a brave one to hold up your camera with a cop pulling you over like that! My luck he would have thought I was aiming a gun at him and I would have been in jail!

  • At 6/09/2006 06:22:00 PM, Blogger Viewfinder said…

    ach, I HATE run-ins with johnny law. hate it. and a cop convention behind my car while I waited for my ticket? crap. literally.

  • At 6/09/2006 11:14:00 PM, Blogger 20-Questions said…

    I think at that point I would have hyperventilated myself to the point of passing out. Holy shit....do you think maybe he would have let the speeding ticket go if you did that???

    p.s. I fixed my blog, I think it had a blogfart or something. But the comment superhighway is free and clear again ;)

  • At 6/10/2006 05:16:00 PM, Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said…

    It's possible that you got drunk and stole a motorcycle. Who hasn't, really?

  • At 6/12/2006 07:28:00 AM, Anonymous circe said…

    Poor Sweetie! Now that was darn stressful and I'm sooo sorry... (hugs)

    The last time I had that many (motorcycle) cops surrounding me I had just come from the airshow in my hometown and was in the parking lot heading back to our car and these gorgeous hunks were just bored and decided to chat with sis and I. ;)

  • At 6/12/2006 09:21:00 AM, Blogger ocg said…

    Ms. Sizz- And to think I give it away for free too often... I will have to think about that...

    Sir Dub- I think they should as well! (Plus everyone could use some time in OC) And yes, I thought they must've put out an APB about a hottie, and that was what all of the commotion was about.

    Heather B- Be careful of what you say... I have decided that perhaps registering the car is less expensive than jail.

    Nih- That s not me taking the pic!!! Do you really think I am the type of girl that has a smiley face in her back window? No, darling, no.

    Viewfinder- Exactly, getting pulled over sucks enough with out a congregation of officers behind my car.

    20Qs- Had he said there actually was a problem and I was going to jail, I may have passed out right there on the road.

    I will be over shortly to check you out, girl.

    Dr.K- Also a fear of mine... I mean it wouldn't be the first time...

    Circe- Thank you for not making me jealous or anything, I mean really.

    Sounds like your experience was vastly different than mine.

  • At 6/13/2006 07:11:00 AM, Anonymous MCbrkfry said…

    I believe NWA once said it best... (if you dont know then you better ax somebody)- JRL

  • At 6/13/2006 09:10:00 AM, Blogger ocg said…

    Mc-Bee- Ha! I almost used that song title as the title for my blog post.

    (great minds think alike)


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